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Monday Meme: Zombie Attack
By Corvus | June 9, 2008
It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these, but I sure do love me some zombies, oh yes I do. That’s… er… in the genre sense, of course, not in the romantic sense (and shame on you for thinking so). Zombie Love is absolutely not something that appeals, even after watching Fido. So when I stumbled across a zombie plague meme, I had to try and spread it. As always, I won’t be tagging anyone, but feel free to join in on your blog or in the comments…
You are in a mall when the zombies attack. You have:
- one weapon.
- one song blasting on the speakers.
- one famous person to fight alongside you
1: A Round Point D-Handle shovel with 9″ steel collar and durable fiberglass handle. I know a shotgun seems like a saner choice, but a shotgun runs out of ammo and isn’t much use afterwards. The shovel can bash, decapitate, wedge, pry, block, bar and, lest we forget the practical, help dig fortifications. It doesn’t require electricity to run and getting it wet doesn’t reduce it’s effectiveness in the least. Blisters can be a problem, but I figure there’s nothing in the rules that said I couldn’t have picked up a pair of durable gardening gloves when I got the shovel.
And besides, when the zombies attack there’s always a gun store around somewhere. I can always pick up extra weapons after I survive the first wave.
2: Sandra’s Having Her Brain Out from the Soft Boys album A Can of Bees. I was tempted to say I’d want the Ramones song Beat on the Brat, but the choice of shovel over bat in #1 gave me pause, and the more I think about it he more I dig the surreality of smacking zombies around with a shovel while listening to Robyn Hitchcock’s offbeat lyrics and the band’s joyously insane musicality (I had hoped to legally stream a bit of the song, but no luck there).
3: Stephen Hawking. I know that’s a counter intuitive choice, but bear with me for a moment. I considered all sorts of people, from Mickey Rourke to Michelle Rodriguez. I even briefly flirted with the idea of teaming up with Zombie William S. Burroughs, figuring his post-modern take on un-life would be endlessly entertaining and greatly reflective of the human experience. I reasoned that if anyone would come through the zombie experience relatively unchanged, it’d be Burroughs. Ultimately, however, I decided that these companions were potentially emotionally (or gastronomically) unstable and if you’ve watched enough zombie movies, you know it’s the unstable ones who never make it (providing anybody makes it at all).
As the protagonist of this scenario, I’m guessing I stand a good chance of surviving. If I don’t survive, it’s likely because I decide to sacrifice myself so that my companion will live. And if I’m going to sacrifice myself, I want it to be for somebody that will benefit the post-zombie apocalypse society. And nobody fits that bill like the indomitable Stephen Hawking. Actors, fighters and athletes are a dime a dozen. Brilliant physicists, not as much. Plus Stephen Hawking’s intelligence, poise, humor, and courage are unmatched by anybody I can think of. He’s exactly the sort of person who survives a zombie film and I want him on my side.
Tagged:meme, shovels, Soft Boys, stephen hawking, zombies. |
June 9th, 2008 at 7:42 am
1. A piece of 4×2. I’m Aussie, so that’s kinda like a national weapon, if ever there was such a thing. (It’s a piece of wood just big and long enough to hurt, but small enough to fit in one hand :D)
2. John Murphy’s theme to 28 Weeks Later. Actually, a toss up between that and Radiohead’s ‘The National Anthem’. Used in Children of Men in the scene with Michael Caine plays it really loud. Wailing brass really gets ya going.
3. Cole Train from Gears of War. I mean COME ON!!!
June 9th, 2008 at 9:02 am
[...] had a fun post today about a hypothetical zombie attack. You are in a mall when the zombies attack. You [...]
June 9th, 2008 at 10:37 am
1. Sledgehammer for the crushing action it provides.
2. The 1965 hit We Gotta Get Out of this Place by The Animals.
3. Bruce Lee. I hear that his power level is like one billion.
June 9th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
1. How about a carosel as a weapon, provided it doesn’t run out of power?
2. “Merry-Go-Round Broke Down”, of course
3. Hillary Clinton
June 9th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Weapon: 34″/24oz Xtension Aluminum Fastpitch Baseball Bat. (I considered a composite, but decided to go with ol’ reliable. This one is light weight with extra reach.)
Song: O Fortuna
Famous person: Simon Pegg (similarly armed).
June 9th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
Tangent: I’ve become fascinated with the “Zombie Squad” concept since I first heard of it. (http://zombiehunters.org/)
June 10th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
That is one nice shovel, I would go for a sledge hammer for the stopping power and the fact that it won’t become dull like a bladed weapon.
For the song I would choose Queen’s “Another One Bites The Dust” As it seems fitting for the situation.
As for the famous person I would choose the comedian Demetri Martin. First, from his comedy special he is ambidextrous which should help fighting any zombies by dual wielding anything. And having a comedian there should help lighten the mood and help moral when things get bad.
June 10th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
1. I’d go with a sword, specifically a katana
2. Control by Traci Lords, from Mortal Kombat
3. Captain Kirk
June 11th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
[...] my clever sweetie, posted a fun meme over at Man Bytes Blog centered around one of my favorite topics–zombies! Obviously I [...]
June 11th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
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